You may have seen pages and sites complaining about Hostmonster, their Unlimited storage/diskspace hosting plan and those negative Hostmonster review sites. Did you get confused about getting started with Hostmonster with the complaints you have heard? Or if you already hosting with Hostmonster, are you afraid you will get your account suspended soon?

We have seen hundreds if not thousands of complaints, hate-pages, negative comments and problems about almost every web hosting companies out there. We at bestonlinebackup.org would like to share with you more than 10 ways to get in trouble with Hostmonster, one of the most popular web hosting company on the planet. Yes, after you have done any of the items below, you can start to say that Hostmonster sucks or Hostmonster is bad. Because they will probably suspend your account. If you really want to start having problems quickly with Hostmonster or any of your current or future web host, try one of these great trouble maker steps!

1. Host a porn site. Or if you are too lazy, just put some porn images on your blog.
2. Use your Host Monster hosting account for hosting a file sharing website.
3. Refuse to use any of the best online backup services such as Carbonite or Mozy as your backup solution. Instead, insist to manually dumping everything to your “unlimited” disk-space on your hosting account. Forget about using the automated and free 2GB backup service by Mozy. Hostmonster said you get “unlimited” storage space after all. No limit on what you can store so why bother with another unknown service.
4. You have lots of files to store and share with friends like your MP3 and movie files. You decide again to use the “unlimited” storage space of your hosting account and place everything there. Hostmonster said you get “unlimited” diskspace so why waste the space. The online storage and sharing services such as ElephantDrive is too much of a hassle when you can get everything in one account – web hosting, data backup, and file storage.
5. Ask Hostmonster to transfer your old website from the old hosting provider. The more complex the applications you have on the previous provider, the better. Put in some database to spice up the transfer process. Make a big fuss if you cannot get your applications running the way it was.
6. Go find an interesting sounding name like hostmonster-sucks-AAAA.com (change AAAA with your own choice of word) use this domain name to sign-up for your free domain-for-life feature available with the Hostmonster package.
7. Use expletive and be rude when dealing with customer support.
8. Start getting 60,000 hits per day on your shared hosting.
9. Try call tech support and quickly refuse to deal with tech support with any non-native or foreign accent. Argue with the hosting company why they have to outsource their support to India (or whatever other country) when so many people in your country are jobless.
10. Post your Hostmonster username and password of your hosting account on an internet forum to get some help with your PHP program.
11. Ask customer support to debug your program(s).
12. Sign-up with the free-domain-for-life package and after a few days, tell Hostmonster that you want to move host and you would like to take the free domain with you to the new host. You also would like to use their 30-days money back guarantee and demand all your money back.
13. Install blackhat programs and leave all the trails behind. If you receive any email about some script exceeding some resource quota, pretend you don’t know about the script.

What is the moral of the story? Basically, 80% of the problems with Hostmonster web hosting can be avoided. Sometimes we are just ignorant about the Hostmonster’s TOS and try to push the limits. Just remember, according to a study conducted by America’s premier customer services research firm, TARP, customers are more likely to speak about a company when things go wrong rather than when they go right. On average, customers are twice as likely to talk about a bad experience as they are to share a positive one. So we can safely say that for every negative comment about Hostmonster, there are two more good Hostmonster reviews we did not hear about.

Now that you know the truth, and the “formula to avoid”, you can safely sign up with Hostmonster. If you are just starting up with your online presence, most probably will not run into any problem with Hostmonster. If later you have expanded beyond shared hosting, then you will know that is the time to move to a bigger package like VPS or dedicated.

Discount Link: Click here to signup with Hostmonster and get a free domain

If you already have a hosting account with Hostmonster. Do not be afraid. As long as you do not do anything out of the ordinary with your website, you just need to get the unlimited Carbonite solution to backup your data or ElephantDrive to store and share your files and you can go on with your business with a more peaceful mind.

This parody is inspired by the free web hosting tips to start web hosting problems by the web hosting guide, and rewritten and twisted with permission.